Yes!

Today is going to be a great day! I finally got my son’s baby pictures off of my laptop that crashed like 7 years ago. I held on to it and did absolutely nothing with it hoping that someone would be able to fix it without losing the pictures one day. Maybe I was just asking the wrong people back then because they’d always say it wasn’t possible. But, HA, Hahaha!!! Yes! It is done! So much for impossible!

I also was able to get the password removed off of my other laptop so I cam get back in it. Silly me I forgot it after about 6 months of not using it. So, I have been given the option to trade them both in for a discount on another used one. However, I also have an old pc at the house with no monitor. So, I’m trying to decide should I just trade the oldest laptop in for a monitor so I can have a desk top.  Or should I trade in the old pc and the oldest laptop in for a whole new desk top? Hmmm, decisions decisions. I’m going to sit on it for a day though. 
Anywho, hippie everyone has a safe and happy new year! Ttyl!

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Reflecting

Just as a semi irrelevant note, I have not forgotten about my “I’m grateful for..” posts. I just have something I’m hoping to do with that so I may have to put it on pause for a little while, though I will try to write things down until then that I’m grateful for just for my to help my personal progress.

 

Last night was like a step in the direction of change for me. I felt just a little bit more bold and just a little bit more brave. As I went to go see someone special do his thing at work. I’m breaking out of my shell little by little everyday. I’m not really a shy person I’m just, me. I have my days and my moments when I’m outgoing and loud and just all over. Then I have my days and moments that I’m very reserve. Anywho, I enjoyed being exactly where I was last night. Though I was so giddy on the inside I completely missed out on saying somethings I wanted to say and asking something I ended up texting today lol smh. I really did feel like a high school girl with a big crush.

 

I also felt a big wake up call last night as I sat at the table scrolling through social media. I found out a woman I used to go to church with as a little girl passed away yesterday. It was so strange seeing the RIP on my timeline. I had been seeing her post and things a lot more before yesterday. I don’t know if it was because she was posting more or my mind just picked up on them more for whatever reason. Either way because of that seeing that she is now no longer with us it made it hit home a little more. I haven’t seen this woman in person in years but just the simple fact that as of the last few months I was seeing her post on my timeline more it made it feel like I saw her just hours before. It still feels so unreal right now. Apparently she died in a car accident. She lost control of her vehicle, crossed the median, flipped the car and ran into a tree. The news report said she was thrown from the vehicle and died instantly.  Sorry if that was a little too much detail for some.

 

At the moment I read the article and saw the post my thoughts immediately went to how short life is. I told myself not to let another day go by without saying “I love you” to the one I love while I have the chance. He was right there and I still didn’t get the nerve up to just say it. As if looking for the right moment. Yet I felt so moved by this woman I know passing away. I felt jolted. Like I needed to act because there’s no need to waste time out of fear but I still didn’t do what I came there to do. I mean, yes I wanted to see him but I needed to say more.

 

I’m still working on me. I have to get better at speaking up.

Good morning sunshine, 

Your face is still on my mind, 

Beauty is embodied in your soul, 

Because you’ve captured mine in love, 

Hope this never changes but I know storms come, 

When they come I hope I hang tight to these moments and thoughts, 

Resilience as you sang is what we need, 

Creating positives to hold on to is key…

I hugged you in my dreams. 

I hugged your neck so tightly. 

I have had fun on this trip but I’m ready to get home. 

To make my dream a reality. 

I’m Grateful For…

December 22, 2016

The roller coaster of a year it has been. I mean it has really been truly up and down and up and down and up and down. Between this time last year and today I have moved four times. I have been through about four cars, not including the one I wrecked of my brothers or even the one I borrowed of my dad’s for a while. I could definitely add much more detail to paint the picture of the roller coaster  but that’s not the whole point of this post. The point of this post is how truly GRATEFUL I am for ALL of it. The happy moments and the very depressing ones. The nights I went to bed unable to shake my smile and the nights I stayed up unable to shake my tears. I rejoice now knowing it all took place to get me to this point. This point of knowing that no matter what comes my way: 1. God is in control! 2. Failure is only a set up for success 3. I can adapt and move forward. This year has taught me so much about myself and my children. My eyes have been open to see beyond myself and I’ve been forced to grow up. It hurt to get here, like running field of knives with a piece of your ripping apart with every stride but there’s no point in turning around because behind you is death and ahead of you is new life. So you push through it and the closer you get to the new life the faster you run and the less you notice the pain from the knives because you stop focusing on the pain and you see is the promise of a future far better than your past. For that I’m beyond grateful. I don’t think words could truly express what this crazy hectic year has done for me. But I’ll show you!

 

GRATEFUL FOR MY CHANGE!!!!!!

I’m Grateful For…

I know I missed posting yesterday so today I’ll try to post twice. 

December 21, 2016

Tradition. Although tradition is also something I’m trying to get away from, in this case I’m grateful for it. About 2/3 years ago I started the gingerbread house tradition with my kids. It was/is a way to spend quality time with them before they leave me for Christmas. This year we’ll be together but they still are leaving for our trip to New Orleans earlier than I am. I’m just greatful for being able to do something with them consistently that they can look forward too.

To be amongst the “alphas”. 😊  I was honored to be considered an alpha female during a training. Now to some that may seem silly. But you’d have to know me to understand why that’s somewhat of an accomplishment in my eyes. For many years I’ve let that side of me take a backseat to my more submissive side and I’m not looking to make the submissive part of me dissolve by any means. What I am trying to do is be a beast when it comes to handling my business and not at all a push over. That being said I’m happy that my progress has become evident to others.