The Ambush

I let you rob me,

I let you take the moment that most girls dream of and turn it into a shit show,

I let you walk all over my heart,

I let you give me mediocre and I accepted it like it was gold,

All behind the idea of potential.

What I didn’t think to ask myself is what about MY potential?

Will I ever reach it while waiting around for him to reach his?

What about MY dreams?

Will I stop dreaming so that his dreams can come true?

What about MY heart?

Will it remain whole while I allow it to be a punching bag in an effort to help heal his?

What about ME?

Is she really happy?

No!

So she ran,

Next time,

If there is one,

She won’t wait,

Because they will meet on the same path.

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Mr Right Forever

I am anticipating my time spent with you,

I know you’re worth every minute, every second every millisecond,

You are missed beyond what words can express,

But I am doing my best to prepare for you,

I know I move a little slow but I need to,

I don’t want not an drop nor an ounce of my past to haunt you in my future,

You are NOT forgotten!

You are loved and felt in every fiber of my being,

Soon my love, soon.

😘

Coping

I literally feel like I’m fighting for my life,

This world is so dark and so cold sometimes,

Though I am no where near perfect,

I just wonder who is really genuine,

Scared to even believe my eyes at times,

The things my ears hear don’t match what my eyes see,

The things that my ears hear don’t match the norm of reality,

Like is death really death as we know it?

What if there’s more to it than we traditionally know it to be?

Then I say to myself, ” you’re just thinking too deep don’t be crazy,”

Yet these deep thoughts keep me from perusing things,

Like friendships and/or romantic relationships,

Too afraid to encounter the disingenuous,

What am I saying?

Tell me it’s real,

Then show me,

Don’t let me slip off the cliff of my thoughts.

Just Letting It Out

Guys like you love girls like me

We make you our everything

We lose our whole identity in you

Like we almost can’t function without you

And it’s to your benefit because then you think we’ll never leave

If we do we’ll come crawling back soon

You live your life and keep your friends and family close

Then point out all the flaws in ours

Like our family isn’t perfect like yours

And what do we need to go out with friends for when we have kids

Go to the gym or a fitness class?

No, we can’t do that

You’ll help us get in shape right at home

While you play ball with your friends and family every weekend

Yet we love so hard we go along with this insanity like it’s the norm

But it’s not

Just know ladies, there’s a calm after the storm

Walk away

Let go

Grow

Your life will flourish again

Lessons & Lemonade

It’s okay to want love at the end of the day,

It’s okay, it’s okay,

It’s even okay told hold until you get it the right way,

It’s okay to want more,

It’s okay to open your heart again after multiple heartbreaks,

It’s okay to dare to be vulnerable again.

It’s okay.

……..

Today my kids did their first lemonade stand and I hoped they’d learn a lot from it. It turns out that I learned a lot too. I kept telling them to not be so shy and let people walk by without asking if they wanted any lemonade. They had to get used to hearing no and still pressing forward. The best/most beautiful part was that almost every person that said no still came back and bought a cup. One guy they asked twice and he said no both times. My daughter said that was stupid of him. I said no it wasn’t it was brave and smart. Well maybe 5 minutes later the same guy came walking up and said , “I changed my mind, I’ll take a cup.” It was the best part of the experience by far! I hope that sticks with them as it did me.

Never fear rejection and don’t be afraid to ask because people won’t notice if you don’t ask. That’s what I took from it. These little lessons with my kids always end up teaching me too.

Have a great weekend all!

Sing To Me

Don’t let the nay saying turn you around

Your gift is love,

Show it,

It brings you joy,

Joy that causes tears,

It’s okay to cry happy tears,

Don’t let anyone,

Not even family deter you,

Feel,

Create,

Be free!!!