I let you rob me,
I let you take the moment that most girls dream of and turn it into a shit show,
I let you walk all over my heart,
I let you give me mediocre and I accepted it like it was gold,
All behind the idea of potential.
What I didn’t think to ask myself is what about MY potential?
Will I ever reach it while waiting around for him to reach his?
What about MY dreams?
Will I stop dreaming so that his dreams can come true?
What about MY heart?
Will it remain whole while I allow it to be a punching bag in an effort to help heal his?
What about ME?
Is she really happy?
So she ran,
If there is one,
She won’t wait,
Because they will meet on the same path.
I am anticipating my time spent with you,
I know you’re worth every minute, every second every millisecond,
You are missed beyond what words can express,
But I am doing my best to prepare for you,
I know I move a little slow but I need to,
I don’t want not an drop nor an ounce of my past to haunt you in my future,
You are NOT forgotten!
You are loved and felt in every fiber of my being,
Soon my love, soon.
I literally feel like I’m fighting for my life,
This world is so dark and so cold sometimes,
Though I am no where near perfect,
I just wonder who is really genuine,
Scared to even believe my eyes at times,
The things my ears hear don’t match what my eyes see,
The things that my ears hear don’t match the norm of reality,
Like is death really death as we know it?
What if there’s more to it than we traditionally know it to be?
Then I say to myself, ” you’re just thinking too deep don’t be crazy,”
Yet these deep thoughts keep me from perusing things,
Like friendships and/or romantic relationships,
Too afraid to encounter the disingenuous,
What am I saying?
Tell me it’s real,
Then show me,
Don’t let me slip off the cliff of my thoughts.
Guys like you love girls like me
We make you our everything
We lose our whole identity in you
Like we almost can’t function without you
And it’s to your benefit because then you think we’ll never leave
If we do we’ll come crawling back soon
You live your life and keep your friends and family close
Then point out all the flaws in ours
Like our family isn’t perfect like yours
And what do we need to go out with friends for when we have kids
Go to the gym or a fitness class?
No, we can’t do that
You’ll help us get in shape right at home
While you play ball with your friends and family every weekend
Yet we love so hard we go along with this insanity like it’s the norm
But it’s not
Just know ladies, there’s a calm after the storm
Your life will flourish again
It’s okay to want love at the end of the day,
It’s okay, it’s okay,
It’s even okay told hold until you get it the right way,
It’s okay to want more,
It’s okay to open your heart again after multiple heartbreaks,
It’s okay to dare to be vulnerable again.
Today my kids did their first lemonade stand and I hoped they’d learn a lot from it. It turns out that I learned a lot too. I kept telling them to not be so shy and let people walk by without asking if they wanted any lemonade. They had to get used to hearing no and still pressing forward. The best/most beautiful part was that almost every person that said no still came back and bought a cup. One guy they asked twice and he said no both times. My daughter said that was stupid of him. I said no it wasn’t it was brave and smart. Well maybe 5 minutes later the same guy came walking up and said , “I changed my mind, I’ll take a cup.” It was the best part of the experience by far! I hope that sticks with them as it did me.
Never fear rejection and don’t be afraid to ask because people won’t notice if you don’t ask. That’s what I took from it. These little lessons with my kids always end up teaching me too.
Have a great weekend all!
Don’t let the nay saying turn you around
Your gift is love,
It brings you joy,
Joy that causes tears,
It’s okay to cry happy tears,
Don’t let anyone,
Not even family deter you,
He remembers her,
She remembers he,
He and her will always be,
Together in eternity,
He & she.