Sarai

Sarai, Sarai why do you laugh, 

Sarai, Sarai you silly woman, 

Sarai, Sarai why don’t you believe, 

Sarai, Sarai do you know who you are, 

Sarai, Sarai you beautiful thing, 

Sarai, Sarai stolen by a King, 

Sarai, Sarai don’t you know, 

Sarai, Sarai your troubles won’t be long, 

Sarai, Sarai stop trying to manipulate the promise, 

Sarai, Sarai if you’d only trust the process, 

Sarai, Sarai through you the King shall come, 

Sarai, Sarai this thing will pass through generations, 

Sarai, Sarai stop looking at today, 

Sarai, Sarai believe for the many years to come,

Sarai, Sarai you will get your son , 

Sarai, Sarai to receive your promise, 

Sarai, Sarai some things have to change, 

Sarai, Sarai let’s start with your name, 

Sarah, 

Trust,

Sarah , 

Believe,

Sarah,

Press,

Sarah,

Wait, 

Sarah,

Watch, 

Sarah,

Pray , 

Sarah,

Recieve!

Free Spirit

You taught me to be adventurous because you are adventurous in all the ways I want to be, 

I’m crying for a different reason tonight, 

I’m free and I’m so happy,

I’m overwhelmed with joy and I feel loved although you’re not physically here at this very moment. 

Good thing I wore my hat,

It hides my tears because I can’t fight them from streaming, 

As my heart beats and is steady screaming, 

Out 

I LOVE YOU! 

I hope you feel it too!

I  Love My Dad!

So I sent my dad a picture of me and the kids at the Christmas parade and this was his response. Mind you I had braces for 7 years bc he would barter with my orthodontist for my appointments. Braces were expensive and he was/is an entrepreneur which equalled no insurance. But we got through it lol a 2 year process took 7 years lol.

My Truth

Nothing prepares you for the emotions, it’s not the same as a break up. We were/are married, although it’s only 3 months it doesn’t change the fact that we stood before the judge, God and a couple of witnesses that day who congratulated us on our new journey. Now here we are in and out of court and it’s only the beginning. I try not to dwell on the pain but it doesn’t change the fact that it’s there. My “best friend” and partner couldn’t accept my flaws and I could not endure his. It hurts. It hurts that I have to go through these memories that trigger so much pain. Flashbacks of good times immediately followed by the names you called me. The thought of having to sit in that stand facing you with both good and bad going through my head. Having to live with knowing you may face consequences I never wanted for you and caring but knowing that you don’t care about me like you vowed you would. You didn’t protect my heart! You destroyed it! Perhaps I hurt yours too and for that I’m sorry but I know I deserve(d) better. Yet I question my worth. Have I allowed so much damage to my heart that I’m worthless to the next man? Will I ever love, the right way, again? I know that I desire to but when will I really be ready? Crying out, Jesus take the wheel please don’t let me crash again.

(Written November 16, 2016)