SEX Scars


Just another scar on my back,
From yet another attack,
Robbed me of my plans,
To focus and make impact.
Suffering the consequences
Of succumbing your advances,
“Well you started strong”,
And had I kept quiet,
Stayed abreast of what I peeped,
I would’ve finished in the same manner.
But now I’m sitting here sulking in the results of being out of order.
Thinking you weren’t being judgemental,
But yes you were you judged that I was an easy target,
Even if the conversations were deep and true,
I was still deemed good enough to screw,
But my circumstances not good enough for you,
This is why I sometimes despise your kind,
Never fully thinking things through,
But who am I to fully blame you,
When I know that I was guilty too,
Should have told you to go,
But instead I let you stay,
After having claimed I wanted to do things the right way,
I set myself up for failure again
Thinking I could trust a “friend”,
I should know better by now when it comes to men,
They’re not all the same,
But they all are in the game,
For the same reason,
Be careful girl don’t let it take you out of your season.

Confidence shot right back down to where it was when I started this process.

(Decided to add this song while I was driving to work today, it was on the radio. It’s not fully related but neither is Doctor Dolittle and it’s a part of the sound track lol. Any who, my mind went to this piece of writing when I was listening to the song so here it lies.)

Finally decided to remove the veil this was written about a month or so ago and the song was added 1-2 weeks after. I’m not fully healed but I didn’t cry while reading it. So, the time has come to share. Hope it was a good read!

Creeper Habits

Creeping through my glass screen, 

Checking knowing I wont be seen, 

A glimpse of your face and a few seconds of your voice, 

Asking myself from a distance was this the right choice because I feel something missing. 

Clock steady ticking but times not turning back, 

Hands sliding through posts like their running track,

Looking for the latest snap, status, IG post and twit pic,

Images running through my head at night like my own personal flick, 

While I’m reminiscing on the memories of turning to my right seeing you right next to me, 

Now I’m flipping through the gram losing hope in the possibilities,

Of ever seeing you face to face and having conversation,

Perhaps I need to fallback and put myself on probation,

Give myself some time to get acclimated to current my relations, 

Perhaps that grass ain’t really that green on the other side of the screen, 

But if it really is then how do bust through it without causing a scene,

Looking for sign in between those lines thumbing through the statuses you post online, 

Caught up in the social media bullshit has got me out my mind. 

I’m a creeper

Dedicated to all of us who are/have been lurking at some point in our life lol! I’m just being honest/real