” ZZ Ward – Til The Casket Drops” on
And this is what I desire to have when the time is right with the right one……
And this is what I desire to have when the time is right with the right one……
I’ve been a total bitch lately.
The smallest things make me angry.
I’m overly sensitive crying at the drop of a dime.
I care too much about small things that shouldn’t matter.
This isn’t me, I’m carefree I’m loving I’m sweet.
So why now? Why now am I so mean?
I just want the woman who always smiled back.
I want that forgiving soul back.
I want that always hopeful for tomorrow woman BACK!
This woman I see now I don’t like but I can’t escape her lately.
Lord please set me free bring back the right me.
I just wanna forget you exist
So why don’t you go dive off a cliff
Stop blaming your actions on yhe piece of shit in your pants
Because when you’re sober you could delete my number while you have the chance
If the shit you got were as great as you believe
Then I wouldn’t be needed as your last resort for relief
You said shit to me that apparently you don’t mean
Then when I attempt to believe you you act like you never said it
Yet you swear up and down you don’t lie
It really don’t matter that you do and I’m stupid because I cry
I cry because I want to hate you so fucking bad
But I don’t, in fact I still care and that is fucking sad
Just delete me out your memory erase every possible way you could contact me
Then you’ll have no excuse as to why you even come my way
Remember I’m not what you want and you can and have done better anyway
This post may be poetic at points confessional in other points and all over the place but I’ve bottled up some things and I’m ready to uncap them.
See, right now I’m not up for the silly games I have things I’m dealing with personally that are stressful enough. I don’t have time for added assumptions about my character nor silly games it seems that are being played to prove them right or wrong.
I find myself angry at the end of happy days. Jealous and wanting explanation when I’m not in a relationship and not even about my own hoped to be/possibly/not really sure what it is relationship. Nope, I’m not mad at a man. I’m mad at a concept an idea that has been shredded. I’m mad that my example is not here. How the hell am I to ever know what love and marriage is if I don’t see it.
I’m mad that I feel like the middle man in something I shouldn’t be but truth be told I’ve been the middle man for them before always listening to both parties and when my head is in the right place giving spiritual advice. But now that I’m older I think to myself it wasn’t my place nor job to do that. That’s not something the child is supposed to be there for. I’m not the councilor and now that it’s all falling down the councilor needs a councilor and the people she needs to talk to are the reasons she needs one.
I’m at a big leap in my life, I’ve finally settled as far as school is concerned. I’ve got ideas that I really want to see succeed but I can’t stay completely focused at times on them because I’m upset.
I want to yell I want to tell them how stupid this crap is and how disappointed I am in both parties but I don’t. I sit back and take in the bull shit from one person then the next.
I don’t even want to care in my own personal desires for a relationship because I don’t want to care period. Why would I want more stress from another party anyway, this is how shit ends. It ends in chaos and pain.
I’m just angry, I’m just angry. And I hate it, now isn’t the time for me to be angry I should be celebrating with the ones I love but the ones I love are the reason I’m angry.
“..and I know it’s double standards when you f*****g with us, but I pray that these ever lasting groupies don’t f*** up this love”
Lyrics aren’t the softest, but the message is there. The beat is oh so sweet, love the sax in the end. Good day all!
Now I’ve had my share of handsome guys I’ve looked upon and desired,
And I’ve had my share of guys coming at me,
I’ve had my share of crushes that picked away at my heart,
But you,
I don’t know what it is,
Your kiss I need,
Your touch brings me warmth,
But the simple thought of you brings a smile and more shockingly….
Tears, uncontrollable tears
I can’t stop crying,
Like I’m going crazy without you here.
It’s overwhelming,
Should I feel this way so soon?
You’re driving me crazy.
I hate it and I love it.
I love it when you’re here
I hate it when you’re away.
I feel that no one else will do.
Could everything I want be in you?
Please answer me soon,
You’re driving me crazy.
Smile, your smile is beautiful!
Your honesty…..is bitter sweet.
The promise you ask of me, I cannot keep.
I can’t quite figure out why I tear up,
It’s a reaction I can’t explain.
Looking in your eyes as you slowly drip tiny drops of yourself from your lips, I fight the urge to tell you it’s a bit too late….
Too late to not get too wrapped up.
You drive me insane.
I can get by without you here but your face will always be a picture captured by my brain.
I care and I can understand your pain, somethings in life define us in ways we may not like.
But you’re a victor as long as you see yourself that way.
Victory is in your hands, but you have to be willing to take the chance. Not every risk is worth taking but some risks are not worth missing out on.
Take it at the pace you desire.
I’m not afraid but I’m eating your words like soup, slowly taking them in.
I’m listening, keep talking no matter where this goes I’m here.
Work the pole like it’s every man I’ve ever known,
Rip, every piece of clothes off, like its every heartbreak,
Throw my hair ’round like its free from the pain,
Touch on my investment, my body, cuz that’s the only thing I’m selling,
Take that mask off cuz they don’t care who I am,
Personality don’t matter, just ass and titties,
So shake it, pop it, drop it like its worth a milli,
Money, that’s all I want and need,
So, let me give you this strip tease
I wanna scream tonight!
I want to cry out in passion of pain and pleasure!
Tonight tonight tonight
Make me cry tonight.
I wanna stretch tonight!
I want my hands up high and pressure on my thighs!
Plummet in my tsunami,
Tonight tonight tonight
Drown in me tonight.
I wanna dig tonight!
I want to claw my way to your heart from your back!
Tonight tonight tonight
Be my prey tonight.
Wrestle me! Cuddle me. Tie me down! Set me free.
Give me the perfect combination of sugar and spice, fire and ice, pain and pleasure, lust and love, pull and shove, hard and soft,
Tonight tonight tonight,
Break me off…..TONIGHT!
Excuse me,
but who are you to define me.
I’m not good enough for you?
Oh really?
Last time I checked God didn’t ask your opinion when He made me,
So I don’t need your opinion on how to be me.
I am who I am,
Not who I was and not yet who I will become.
Darling, I am perfectly in love with me,
I could careless if you choose to be.
If looks could kill, darling I believe mine would kill a whole troop just like that.
What’s that?
I’m not thick enough, I’m not tall enough,
Oh, well darling adjust your glasses because from what I see I look perfect flaws and all baby.
I’m passionate, I’m loud, I’m aggressive, I’m wild, I’m passive, I’m quiet, I’m calm, I’m just me.
*There’s only one way to understand that last line and that is to know me.*
