Sometimes I’m sent as an angel…
I still haven’t forgotten that text message you sent me and I still remember laying on the couch reading it with tears in my eyes confused. Every message (and later call) from you had strange yet perfect timing it seemed.
But that’s not my point here so I’ll move on. So, today I thought what can I do to feel like I’ve done something to prevent your death from being in vain. Not that it was but I just want to DO SOMETHING, if I can’t bring you back there has to be something.
I thought maybe I could start a nonprofit to raise money for research and treatment for those with the form of cancer you had. Like maybe the money could benefit the current patients and their families. From what I read the prognosis is poor but maybe it could be like the make a wish Foundation and help people scratch a couple things off their bucket list. Maybe it could support early screening for the sickle cell trait and on going screenings to be sure those at risk font develop the cancer (or help with early detection).
I thought of a non-conventional way to raise the money. I didn’t really get to meet your family (as an adult. ..I think your dad may have come on a field trip in elementary school but the memory is fuzzy) So I’m not sure if they’d give me permission. I know you grew up a church boy as I did a church girl and the idea isn’t really along those lines. I think this idea is more suited towards your wilder side but whose to say you’d approve yourself if you had a say in it.
Any who, I thought hosting pole dancing shows. Not where they get completely naked but true professional polers you know the more gymnastic/acrobatic style yet still sensual. I’d have beautiful and talent women audition and the final girls would be “(Insert Your First Name)’s Angels”. The would just be one method but one of the main events to raise the money.
So, then the question would be how do I anonymously contact your family to ask their permission to get started? What if they get upset and say “no you heathen! “? But then what if they say OK? Who would be in charge of disbursing the funds and who would be the board members (foundations usually have that right)? How would my current partner feel about me putting my energy into something for a guy I once cared deeply for who is now dead?
Well, hope your heart is healed as you helped to heal mine. I also hope for a sign on going through with this idea or not. I must admit there is a little selfishness behind it, I hope it will bring more fulfillment to my own life. It’s something I can be passionate about again without the fear of being hurt behind it.