For a second I imagined myself finding out where you’re buried and digging up the grave with my bare hands, as if somehow this would bring you back to life.
Then I imagined opening the casket and just laying there next to your lifeless body.
So that I know this is true this isn’t some sick joke but that you’re really dead.
And because I didn’t even get to show up at the wake during public viewing as the stranger in the back paying respect to a soul I didn’t get to fully know.
Maybe I wish I had the power to bring you back.
You wouldn’t even have to come back and be mine but just come back and live for my own selfish reasons, my mind could be at ease.
Then if I did dig you up and lay there what if I got closed in and buried too.
I couldn’t do that, listen to me this is nonsense.
This is how I’ll start to say good bye because I wasn’t there to say it in time.
T. A. D.